since i haven’t done it in a while, and tim is my role model, here is the gridblurb.
i’m not entirely sure what it is about, because i barely understand English, but the idea of ‘living in the light of death’ was something i found interesting..

death is something i am far from understanding. i just don’t get it somehow. how when people die, they don’t wake up. how, apparently, they still ‘live’ but not on this earth. being the shallow teenager i am, it’s still hard to understand that there is anything beyond this earth that you could live in.. and this brings in my lack of knowledge of heaven and all that. is it like scooby doo the movie where all your souls are in a large cauldron?
but, for some reason i think about this a lot: i think about me dieing, or my friends dieing, or my family dieing.. i think about what the funeral would be like if i died, or if one of my friends died. i think about how many people would show up, if i would be one of the highest on the grieving chart. all i know is, no matter who died, i would have no clue how to handle it. i am not emotionally equipped for that kind of stuff. i would probably just not leave my room for a month. somehow that would solve it all. i’m not even emotionally equipped to deal with girls that cry for no reason, i couldn’t handle people crying for a legitimate reason.

i am not comfortable with death. maybe because i’m not comfortable with life. maybe because i don’t understand anything about either life or death. what i do know is that death will get me. it will sneak up on me like a surprise shot to the groin, not something i really wish for myself, but is inevitable.. all i can do, is hope that my days before that shot to the groin are filled with some sort of purpose, whether it is making other people happy, or sitting here, writing stupid blogs.