Holy Cow

by Nic Olson

Hello everyone.

I am in a sweaty internet cafe in Guwahati, where tunes of Eminem, Bon Jovi, Nelly, and the soundtrack of Night at the Roxbury boom, as i laugh at it all.

India has been something else. The cities I have been to are obviously like nothing I have ever seen or imagined. I have heard descriptions from many a person, but nothing does justice. I know that this is pretty standard loser traveller talk, but now i know it is for real. I have met many a new amazing person. They have all been very friendly and fun to talk to. Calcutta was a pretty neat place. Dirty as a frenchman and about as far away from White City as you could get. Guwahati is a bit different. Cleaner, less intimidating, but that is still a factor. I am 1 of 3 white men in the city, i bet, out of millions, and am obviously noticed for that. The stares i get are sometimes scary. I have spent the past couple days with Ray and Bob Parker (come on down!!) I know i am not the first person to put that connection of Parker with Barker together, but the way they say ‘Brother Bob Parker’ here, is almost as good as Rod Roddy.
Anyways, my room has been secluded and quite, besides the thousands of birds that chirp over me. I am far enough away from the street to avoid the honking and for that I am grateful.

I have felt a bit of a cold for the past few days since the airplane ride. I probably caught it in London, because that place sucked. I feel a bit woosy and dizzy typing this right now, and it is also probably from the heat.

I have only about 5 minutes left here, so i will close. I head to Aizawl soon, and will make my temporary home there. Hopefully soon my bags will arrive. oh, yes, i forgot to mention, my bags were lost somewhere from Regina to Calcutta, and i have no clue where they are. I have few clothes to my name, and some swedishberries, so that is all i need.

On each and every screen in this internet cafe there is a BharatMatrimony.com advertisement, telling me to marry online, simple and easy. so i’ll probably give that shot. Another one of those advertisements said that i should join the world record, and marry online. so, i may as well.
Anyways, i am dizzy enough to pass out right now, so i best sign off. Thanks for reading. I’ll update again soon.

annnnnnnnd, i cant see anytyingjd ankymore..a