The Top Dix

by Nic Olson

Since everyone these days is too busy, I was thinking of a Top Ten. Everyone loves them, I hate them, they are an easy way to convey a message. These are not a top ten as in, the best to the least best, but just ten things you’ll see in India. Most of them, you will see quite often and in large quantities.. Here it is.

TOP TEN THINGS YOU’LL SEE IN INDIA

1. Fantastic Advertising: Whether it is a ripped white dude selling steel or concrete, or the hottest Bollywood star selling Coke, biscuits, cellphones, diapers, dawning a great smile and perfect brown complexion, you’ll see them everywhere. Cellphone companies advertise in the most inappropriate places, like on a nice rock wall, or the back of a baby’s head.

2. Garbage. Loads of it. Again, this is everywhere too. I always thought Regina was bad for littering, but this place makes Regina look like a Greek underarm (don’t worry, I don’t even know what that means.). I don’t think there are dumps anywhere, unless you count everywhere as being a place to dump your garbage. But, it just adds to the beauty.

3. Indians. I guess this one was a bit obvious, but it is true. I have seen so many people, that I just don’t know what to do anymore. It is a little bit unbelievable the amount of people I’ve seen. The ones I have met, also an unbelievable amount, have all been hospitable, very friendly and welcoming. I’m not huge on meeting new people, but here, you can’t avoid it, so I’m getting better.

4. Hills. At least in Mizoram and Meghalaya, but they are quite cool things. Being the prairie boy that I am, mountains have always been pretty amazing to me, and they are quite rampant here. Yeah, rampant.

5. Food stands. Every corner, even in the most remote places, has small food stands where you can buy some beetlenut, candy, chips, pop, smokes, bananas and other things. I haven’t figured out how the food gets there, or how they make money off of it. I haven’t really seen warehouses that you could order a crate of Sunfeast biscuits from, so I have no clue. And wherever they buy them, they must be buying them for close to the same amount that they sell them for, therefore no profit. I don’t get it. By the way Sunfeast biscuits are the new Oreo. I’ll bring a load home, cheap as nuts, I tells ya.

6. The Rickshaw. The beautiful mode of transportation they have some places, but not Mizoram. Those things couldn’t climb a hill brand new. I have only been on one in Guwahati, and only an auto rickshaw, no bicycle. Pretty sweet thing though, what with the leather doors and pull starter. We need some in Canada

7. Dogs. Stray dogs. Sometimes laying beside of the road, looking dead. Sometimes laying on the road. Sometimes barking at the stupidest hours of the night. Always gross.

8. Taxis. Few people own their own cars here, so taxis are everywhere. You can stand at the side of the road, wave your hand, and one stops. I didn’t think that actually happened, except in the movies, but oh yes, it does happen.

9. Cellphones. I think every newborn comes with a cellphone in India. Bob bought one here, and it cost like the amount of a bottle of Coke in Canada, and the plan for it cost 1 rupee. That is about ¼ of a penny. So, with great coverage and cheap rates, everyone and their stray dog has one. They even work to talk to Canada, that amazed me.

10.The West. At least in Aizawl, there are many teenagers wearing Dead Kennedys shirts, a band that even few Westerners know about. Teenagers dressing like North American teenagers would, listening to the same crappy music, and generally western. It is familiar, but in a kinda bad way.

It’s pretty cool here though. So, if you want to come visit anytime from now until late May, you can stay in my room. I can get you a date, probably, and show you around.. Think about it.

P.S. Check out Tyler B.’s blog HERE. He is one of my oldest bros, and I love him dearly. His blog is top 2 on my list of best blogs ever, that is, when he updates it. He is behind only, Madonna’s Blog of Sin. He is profound!

P.P.S. If you are one of those people who thinks Nelly Furtado sold out on her last CD, you should just back off a bit. It’s called musical progression alright. She is a fantastic Canadian songstress that can speak numerous languages, and is as beautiful as they come. So just back right off, alright. Thanks.

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