Ricki Lake

by Nic Olson

I’d love to go ahead and start this blog with one of those lines like ‘Why do these things always happen to me?’ or ‘Have you ever had one of those nights?’, but that would be totally cliché. But then again, it would also be totally cliché to start one of these blogs with one of those lines about not starting your blog with total clichés.

But, as I may or may not have said before, I’m the movie-man on Friday nights. Oh yeah, I said that before. In that one, where I talked about things, and Walt….
Anyway, I enjoy being the movie-man, making children smile, making college guys smile, making me smile, but this week wasn’t as cool. One of those ones.
First of all, setting up was just fine, everything worked. But, when it came time to begin the movie, obviously it crapped out on me. The picture wouldn’t show, and half of the sound wouldn’t work. Big deal, we’ll watch the movie anyways (when I fixed the picture, duh). Also, it was my week to choose a movie, so naturally, I picked Rocky. A beautiful love story between a punch drunk (does that mean when you get punched enough you act like a dope, or is it like when you get drunk off punch?) and a little pet shop worker, as well as a few workout scenes and fights in between.

About a third of the way into the movie, India strikes again, and the power goes out. Once I find my flashlight, walk to the screen to make sure my assumption is right, the power comes back on. Once I go lay down, watch about 10 more minutes of the classic, the power goes out again, for another ten seconds, and comes back on, once I am in front of everyone, looking like a dope. Then, ten minutes later, the power goes out one more time (good things happen in threes) and this time it seems to be out for good. The kids go outside, play in the dark. This was the night’s best part, chasing children, picking them up like sacks of rice. Ten minutes later, power is on.

In case you didn’t know, Rocky I through V and continuing on through Rocky Balboa, are movies with lots of talking, and sad parts, until the last 10 minutes when Rocky fights some huge dude, bleeds from the eyes, and yells for his pet-shop dream girl. Tonight, we got to the part where Rocky meets Apollo Creed in the ring, and they were just about to ring the bell to start the fight. This time, the power didn’t go out, but something so stupid happened, that I won’t even bother explaining it. But it was unfortunate, that is for sure.

I felt bad. These kids probably struggled through this movie, thinking it was boring, and when I was going to prove them wrong, and the best part of the movie is about to happen, everything goes to nuts. I just hope these kids grow up knowing that Stallone is a gem, and Rocky is a cinema classic, and not remembering ‘that stupid white dude that liked the stupidest movie and couldn’t even work a dvd player.’ It is harder than pushing play, I promise.

p.s. when there was kissing, I covered up the projector. I don’t want these kids to get any ideas, kissing causes learning disabilities and instant carpal tunnel.