The Truth about Teaching

by Nic Olson

Here is a provocative look at the ugly underbelly of the Education system, to advise you to avoid it as best you can.

Teaching is like a diseased fire breathing dragon. The dragon is the Education system, that breathes a carbon sulfur based fire (dad, is that even possible?), which is knowledge, onto the knight, which is the student. This carbo-sulfuric fire then creates a wart-like disease on the knight’s face and crotch area that does not go away, no matter what the doctor gives him. The warts are the lasting lifelong affect of the fire breath of knowledge. These warts caused from knowledge are spread through contact with other wenches in the kingdom, and knowledge, as well as more life changing effects are spread. Make sense? Everything these days can be related back to STD’s. Or STI’s if you are new to the scene.

Most of the day it is me combating Andrew head to head about numerous things. He always complains about not having fun, or that he doesn’t like any of the subjects I teach, or that he likes his old school better, or that his Grandma teaches better. Autumn always daydreams, sits and stares out the window or stares at her hands or something. I often have to throw chalk at them to get them to listen. When they don’t listen, a flick of the ear or a punch to the thigh usually sets them straight.

Andrew often complains that he is hungry and that he wants a piece of sliced bread. He comes up with the most off topic questions, it is truly amazing and hilarious. I really don’t know how his mind works, it is unbelievable. He can also remember the most useless things, but can’t remember that USA is not a province of Canada or how to multiply fractions. He just now asked me how deep my armpit was, in the middle of asking what the difference was between butter and margarine. Right after this he asked me if I ever threw up on a bus ride. He interrupts his own thoughts. The other day in Bible, he was supposed to come up with ways to honour God in an acrostic poem spelling the word Sacrifice. For the letter E he wrote ‘Eat your rice properly’ and then gave me a good long description of how this honours God. It included chewing the right ways so you didn’t die, because dieing doesn’t honour God. Gridblog anyone: Does dieing honour God? Inspired by Andrew.

I’d give you a subject for subject outline, but that is mostly just boring details. The blog is all the exciting details for you. If you really want to hear the boring details, just let me know, I’ll tell you in a few months. Only true friends care about boring details. Think about that. Are you my blog friend, or my true friend? I guess we’ll have to find out.

It hasn’t been all that bad. Hanging out everyday with two under 12 year olds will make you laugh every now and then, because really, I’m just a 10 year old boy in a 18 year old body.

If I went into Education however, I think my major would be Creative Thinking, or maybe in Finger Painting. My minor would definitely be the Proper Technique for making Check Marks.

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