by Nic Olson
These are the top phrases or questions I have heard since I have been home. If you have said one of them, don’t feel bad, so did two hundred other people.
How was India? Really, this is a lame-ass question. Firstly, it seems to me that it is bad grammar. Is India a person I just went and visited? Is it important for me to know how India is, when the real question that they want to know is how my time was in India, or how I was in India. When I left, India seemed pretty dirty and humid, if that is what you are asking. I don’t know.
Is it good to be home? Like, come on. Let’s get creative here. If I say no, it looks like I don’t care for my friends or family. If I say yes, it looks like I was struggling through my time in India and could barely wait to get home. That’s just not true. You know the answer anyways, so let’s just skip that one.
I read (past tense) your blog all the time. This is weird. I’m glad if you read it and enjoyed it, but I didn’t think anyone read it except Wilf and Laura. It is a touch embarrasing that people read it, because I put a lot of stupid useless crap in there… Anyway, your loss, I guess.
You’re going to Yellowknife….Why? Because I miss my big sister. I have got a lot of crap for this summer adventure, and I guess for good reason. I come home for 2 weeks and leave again for 3 months. Where’s the love? Yellowknife, I guess.
Your handsomeness has increased tenfold since you have left. No one has said that to me. That is an outright lie.
So, if I haven’t seen you yet since I have arrived home, come up with a mind blowing, face melting question for me. Someone asked me about the toilets right off the bat, and I thought that was nice. I’m ready for anything. Even the word panties.