by Nic Olson
Dear the Architect of the Taj Mahal,
I’m no architecturist, they are usually hippies and people who constantly fantasize about triangles and their incredible architectual ability, but I do know that if I was one, I’d want one building I built to be something that people could look at for a few minutes and say something like, ‘Hmmm’ or ‘Shiiiat’. Something like that. Maybe a bit more eloquent, whatever though.
They call yours the 7th wonder of the world, but I say it is better than the other six. I don’t know what the other six are, but they must suck if I’ve never heard what they are. But people from everywhere for 400 plus years have come to your building to take those classic awful but ever-so necessary photos, so I’d say you did well. Very expert.
There was a while where I really wished that I had one talent. I didn’t care if I’d be very expert at it, but at least semi-decent. I have searched and found nothing, and have passed the age of eighteen years that is a young man’s talent peak, so I’m over it. I’ve accepted the fact that not everyone is good at something, but some people just are, which is likely where meditation came from, people who couldn’t do much else decided to just ‘be’. Genius.
So instead of inspiring me with your incredible work of white marble beauty, you have inspired me to accept mediocrity. Better I do it now than ten years down the road, saves me some money and ten years of beauty. I kinda just decided to find something I deem important and somehow, anyhow, do that. Somehow I came upon encouragement, because it seemed like a good idea at the time. So I continue to write with the slight hope that maybe one of the eight people that read it may be encouraged by maybe one word of it. Crude and often pointless things usually encourage me, so there must be someone else out there who instead of getting offended, can be encouraged by my endless swears and awfully repetitive writing. But I guess chances are slim, like those of the Asian tourists not getting pickpocketed, or slim like the Hindu god city cow whose diet consists solely on moustache trimmings and good intentions.
At the same time, just as encouragement’s arch enemy is negativity, so is my greatest ally. No one said it would be easy. It should be hard like coming up with a sufficient simile in the right spot, one that will knock you out like a plenty ripe underarm under the midday sun.
So congrats on your world acheivement. You are a real prick sometimes. I’ll design something just as epic with less ‘creative’ amateur photography and more hot Indian girls, if that is even possible.
Your biggest fan and architectural competition,
The Regina Architecture Club of Regina