Singapore: Hella Nice

by Nic Olson

I found hell.
It is more comfortable than you’d think, but is also cringingly uncomfortable at times. This isn’t a discovery of complaint, but a discovery of warning, so you know what will happen if you forgot to say that quick prayer before you got hit by that raging case of SARS.

It looks nice. The internet is free, the carpet is fancy. The chairs are new age looking with new age looking short tables to go with them. Of course the food is expensive, it is hell. Tons of expensive designer stores that people actually buy stuff from .It has a Hard Rock Cafe, obviously, it’s hell, but they only play Aerosmith and AC/DC, and loud. Everyone in the premises must wear hiking shoes with travel spandex and a Solomon backpack. Ponytails are encouraged.

There is not one single language, there is not one single currency, there is not one single nationality or race. But there seems to be a few more white people. You can come and go as you please, but you will be sucked back in at sometime. Luckily I am only here for twenty hours or so. I could blog infinite blogs from airports. Maybe hell would be good inspiration.

At first glance you think it might be heaven. You can watch the world through the largest LCD 1080p display (thanks Panasonic). It is calm and quiet and warm, with lots of bright lights. But when you look closely, it is obviously not heaven, and it is obviously not part of the earth. Hence, hell.

Now you know what to look for.