After Whisky, Driving Risky
by Nic Olson
I hate extremely long blogs. I can’t stand reading other people’s good times, especially when you strain your finger scrolling down the window nineteen times. So I will break mine into three seperate ones. Read them as you wish.
On the bus, the windows are horizontally sliding windows, that you share with those people in the front and back of you. I slid my windows back six inches so I could put my arm out and catch some air. My stomach wasn’t feeling too good from the unreal back and forth driving of the Aizawl roads. I was worried what the next 20 hours would be like. Then all of the sudden, the lady behind me slammed the windows back my way, damaging my hand slightly, as she loudly puked over her husband and child. Suddenly my stomach was feeling pretty ironclad.
First, Aizawl…. Supreme was just one of my friends to visit while back in my second home. If you haven’t heard yet, his name is Supreme. His wife Mary and kids Shristi and Christopher..
The first day I saw him he promised me chicks. His words, not mine.
I went to his place for tea and his family was sick. The kids, the wife, the maid. So we had tea, I left, and came back in the morning, with his promises of chicks ringing in my head. He told me his wife, Mary, was now Sikh, so she could not attend school for a while. But it actually turned out she wasn’t Sikh, she was just in fact, sick. Difference.
He cooked me a fish curry breakfast with rice, boiled vegetables and some chilis, and after he insisted that I enjoy the mouth freshening power of the betelnut. One minute with the pan in my mouth and I was in a very firey spiral. Suddenly the mashed rice conncoction he was feeding his 1 year old son didn’t look so good. Suddenly Bob the Builder on the TV was making sense. Suddenly I wondered how people enjoyed the flavour. The spins hit me 2 hours later in the middle of a job interview at his office. A girl brought her credentials on paper and Supreme grilled the B. Ed. graduate asking what caused the lack of rain in Rajasthan and how WWII affected India. I was present the whole time, sitting next to her, staring everywhere else but at Supreme. After this he took me to a classrom where he hid one of his 27 year old teachers, she was in the middle of class. He introduced me to her, not the class, and told her I was a good man, told me she was a good woman. I think he was hoping for a proposal, I think she was hoping for the same as me, a proposal, but I still had the spins so I decided I didn’t want to make
any hasty decisions while under the influence…
He sent me home. The next time he spouted ideas of me owning and operating a professional agency where he exported Indian professionals to me in Canada and I got them jobs and because of that collected a percentage of their salary. Then he showed me his magic stove, cooked me an omlet and asked if I watched Hot movies on my iPod. Then he told me that all Canadians he had met are good looking, with the exception of Tyler and Eric. Too scrawny he said. His words, not mine.
Great man, great family. One of the best.
SPORTS SIDE NOTE: This has been a weird week. Carbo, fired? Where’s the love in that? At least give him a week’s notice and let him ‘resign’. I haven’t watched a game in a month and a half, but I can’t imagine that the problem was him. The problem was that I left the country. Bob Gainey, if you really want to win, hire me and/or give me season tickets!
guess that means i’m a real soccer player then…i have a picture but its on my phone, so maybe when you get one in ten years then you’ll believe me
i don’t like long blogs either. but i read all 3 in one sitting!we miss you here.we talked about betelnut in class one day and how it stains your teeth. i had to explain what it was, but i’m sure i did a crappy job. you should bring some back for my class. 26 girls. sounds like it would be funny.
scrawny my ass.e.