A Second Hand Proposal

by Nic Olson

The underlying theme of my trip has been, besides learning Hindi in a multiple language (but rarely Hindi) environment, besides seeing how dirty of a hotel I can get/how dirty my feet can get, besides seeing how long I can go just using my hand (you know what I mean), besides dudes asking me for sex (it happened again. Do I put out some sort of gay vibe?. Besides all these, the theme has been marriages. Not solely mine, or the lack of mine, but there seems to be a wave of proposal, love marriage, wedding and divorce talk these days. Not that I didn't hear all this garbage in my two previous trips, but now some of my friends are getting married, small boys are proposing to girls, and people are questioning my intentions as this is my third trip in three years. (Hey man, I'm married to the land and it's curry. If a girl comes along it's not my fault. It's the curry's.)

Here's a few stories from my trip. A girl's husband left her, but not until after poisoning his baby inside her, or that's the rumour. A couple married love marriage, a big deal where they came from. A friend left by his wife, alone with his new child, remarrying very shortly after.

I am just lucky that most dudes here don't get married until around 30. So I've got ten years until all my friends get married and there's a serious wedding fest like Canada last summer. And I've got about ten years until I should worry about my own dowry.

The reason I bring this up is to invite you to my wedding next month, the 31st of April, TwoThousandNine. If you're serious about coming, RSVP to NicWedsPotofcurry@yahoo.co.in

I guess Canada isn't the only place that the wedding fever is blazing hot like a chili on a nipple. Raja calls the male reproductive organ area the mainpoint. It seems completely logical here to find a wife by closing your eyes, spinning around with your mainpoint hanging out to guide you. I could be married by next week if I wanted. If the dowry includes a good enough curry, I would have to say yes.

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