Let’s Straighten a Few Things Out.
by Nic Olson
The first day of the rest of my life has finally arrived. Coming June 18th I’ll no longer be the owner of this monstrous Muppet nose that inhibits fresh air from being cleaned by my nose hairs and entering my lungs. No longer will I wake up with a mouth drier than a camel’s ass, caused by the ever flowing fountain that is my drooling mouth. Nose job, June 18th. If you didn’t know, someday between the age of eight and twenty, I broke my nose, at least once. There is a serious blockade in my left nostril from a large protruding piece of cartilage that has been a friend more than anything for the past ten years. I have picked at it and stroked it over ten million times in my life.