People Against Robots

by Nic Olson

I wrote this in March. I haven’t posted it until now, I don’t know why. Probably because it doesn’t make sense.

The ultimate crappy scifi plot. I was at a house for tea and the TV was on in the background. The Matrix 2 or 3 was on. Some spaghetti robots were chasing a super space plane, eating electronics and killing people. My Indian friend asked me if this movie was a joke, I didn’t really
know the answer. Then I remembered, of course it is, it’s Keanu Reeves.

Every person I meet, I label them. Not on their sex, language, colour, education or otherwise. But by my system of Robot to Real Person. There is no real scale to this system, you are either a robot, real person, or somewhere in between.

My scale works this way: if you swear, smoke/drink/chew the betel etc, think church is boring, work a job you hate, have passion for something, think about and question the things you are told, love somethings; you may be a real person. Now this may not make sense to you, and that’s OK. It doesn’t even make sense to me. It is just how my brain works sometimes. You can be a real person without these, but they help solidify the fact. You can be a real people and do all the opposites of these things, but those are rare cases. And if you are a real person it doesn’t automatically mean you are worth anything. You could still be a crappy real person. A really crappy person.
A real person of worth has a purpose. A real purpose.

If you only talk in small talk, only laugh in the same amount of syllables everytime, text more than 100 texts in a 24 hour span, do the exact same thing everyday, love everything, think the Leafs are a legitimate organization, work for only money, you might be a robot. But just because you are a robot doesn’t mean you are a monster. Monster movies and robot movies are obviously
very different things. There are decent robots out there. Like that one owl robot, HootBot, from RadioShack in the ’80s, or the Jetsons maid robot, Rosie, also possibly from around the 80’s. But you’re not part of the majority.

Real people are refreshing. They live a life that is real, obviously. They are fluid, they struggle, they have personality. They may be personable, they may not.
Robots are awkwardly mechanical, up tight, without personality. They may be personable, they may not.

In this technological time, the world needs less robots. It needs more real people with real purpose. And less robots with purpose, because robots with a purpose will ruin the world. Just ask Keanu Reeves. He would respond with a raspy, “I love it when you call me big papa. Ahhaah.”

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