Lyric of the Month: September 2009 #2 – Roam

by Nic Olson

Cause I can’t stand feeling nothing
I can’t stand feeling old
I can’t stand standing for nothing
When standing up is all I know

So why waste another day
Turning our backs and walking away
I want to feel everything
And I want to grow in every way

-Chuck Ragan, California Burritos

I phoned a friend last week. We talked for fifty five minutes. I didn’t talk as much as I did listen. I usually don’t use the phone for more than ten minutes in an entire week, so this was different. I listened to what they needed to say, what they would’ve said to anyone if anyone were there to listen, things that had been building up for weeks and for personal sanity needed to come to the surface and hit hard.

After this conversation, my entire week changed. My loose plans had been totally altered with new ideas, my semi-decent mood had been dragged down to a deep sulk. My life transformed for a few hours, until I went to sleep, woke up the next morning, slightly forgetting the importance of this phone call and went to work. And played Bejewelled for the iPhone.

Talking with friends who have ideas of travel, friends with ambitions of seeing the world, I almost get jealous and want to change my plans instantly. I have an itch that can’t be scratched with photographic memories and great attempts at dishes. An itch that can only be treated with a prescribed cream, the cream of the crop. The cream of experiences. The crop of life. Ohh, yeah.
I feel like I need to be somewhere, and that is not where I am, nor where I am planning on going. Does that make my plans wrong, or my directions off? Is my time frame accurate? Should I have a time frame at all, or just a commitment?

To words, I am a vulnerable man these days. I could be taken advantage of (not in that way, sorry girls) in a few honest sentences and I wouldn’t even know what hit me. I’m not only talking about traveling. I am talking about regular people stuff. People around me seem to have ideas, plans, goals, where it felt like they didn’t before. Any idea, plan or goal I come up with gets quickly shut down with a feeling that matters more. I hate to go on just a feeling, but to even make an idea, plan or goal based on this feeling only seems like hesitation.

So let’s forget about it all and get friend tattoos together, on our hips. I’ll get a dolphin, you get a killer whale and we’ll call it Underwater Mammalian Love. They’ll shape a heart when you put our hips together..

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