The OneThousandOneHundredandEleventh Caller

by Nic Olson

Over four years of being one of the internet’s most relevant web pages, there have been hundreds of comments from friends, the odd stranger, and the semi-often spam robot. We are nearing 1000 reader comments.

Blogging is a needy habit. I basically sit here and keep my eyes tied to the graph given by WordPress. Every climb, my triumphant days.  Every fall, my depression. Below twenty in a day constitutes for a depressing day. Above forty is acceptable. Above sixty is great. The day I had the most viewers, 138, was the day I wrote about a cat, and what I should name it. I have found that when I talk about things that have absolutely no worth in the world, like the names of cats, photos of football, and words about urinals, more people visit my site than ever before. My readership is very highbrow.

I’ve always wanted to post something and ask/demand that whoever read it would leave a comment, just to see who actually read it, not just skimmed it. Just like on exams in highschool when teachers would put something tricky in the instructions, like, ‘If you’ve read this, put a +1 in the top right corner of this page, and you will get 1 bonus mark!’ because usually no one read the instructions. I could make a good teacher after all.

The 1000th comment will receive a prize of my choice, at the time of my choice. I assure you, this is no small deal. You will be immortalized. The 1111th comment, a bit further down the road, will receive an actual prize of my choice, and by the time that rolls around, the prize might actually be ready.

If you’ve stuck with me, I congratulate you. It can only go up from here. We hope.