by Nic Olson

Michael Scott: “What do you call a buttload of lawyers driving off a cliff?”

Lawyer: “A good start. And I believe it’s ‘busload.’”

Michael Scott: “Yeah, a bunch of rich lawyers took the bus. [To Jan] Where’d you find this guy?”

I have been in a war since February. It is only now I realize why people told me to stay out of it. But I haven’t. I have been in an actual serious legal issue since a month after I moved here, and I brought it on myself. I have refrained from speaking about it on the internet for obvious reasons, and will continue to do that, until I write a book about it, finally exposing the world for the pile of shit that it is. If ever you have the choice to partake in the legal system in anyway, avoid it. For the good of your health, the world, your children, your time, your sanity. Avoid it.

The truth is obvious. The sooner we realize that we are all being passed around, used as ingredients in a recipe by the higher powers, the sooner we can make a play against it, and actually be the free people we think we are. I am inevitably going to come out from this entire situation more knowledgable than before, but at a definite cost.

I try to love people until I meet an actual lawyer. Scum of the earth.
I think I love children until I spend more than ten minutes with one.
I think I want a dog until I step in its shit.
I think I want to make a difference until I get there. I can’t even tell if I am doing the right thing anymore. When that happens, it is probably best to just bow out. But in this situation, I feel like that would do more harm than good.

Let’s see what happens. Here’s to hoping I live to tell the tale.

Every war waged, only kings emerge unscathed.
-Propagandhi, Name and Address Withheld