Things that are fake.

by Nic Olson

Due to lack of readable material, not updating in almost a week, and reproducing and distributing copyrighted material/plagiarism, Balls of Rice has been shut down by the US government. Please tell your friends.

It usually only takes me a single sentence to be inspired to write a paragraph, or entry, or poem, or book. This certain sentence will often spring from my subconscious when I’m walking to school alone and thinking but not really thinking about life and a witty or absurd phrase comes to my lips causing me to laugh out loud and hoot out an echoing noise under the overpass. I can go through a dry spell of not having a decent sentence to jot down and later expand on, but sometimes all it takes is a photo of three governmental cartoon-esque eagles.

Upon first glance this graphic looks like it was created by a highschool student in his or her first computer design class, however it is apparently a government ‘document’ of sorts. Originally I saw it as a fake, then I read the paragraph and believed it to be real. I am beginning to return to the idea that it is indeed a fake and that my favourite website for streaming sports,, is conspiring to change web domains to avoid being too popular. But my once favourite website for streaming tv shows,, gives the same notice. I’m torn. Things that are real, when done poorly, seem fake.

I no longer force production of anything. Supper, poetry, conversation. Real writers say that you should write everyday to improve your trade even when it hurts. But when inspiration lacks, when images aren’t flooding, when supper ideas are limited, when conversation does not flow, forcing it is worse than doing nothing at all. The forced, even when real, seems fake.

So despite what the government says, Balls of Rice will still be producing its regularly scheduled spouting of complete, regurgitated crap, based on how often dig piss, dead birds or classic literature can inspire me. If readership numbers have anything to say about it, the government will probably leave me alone. I’m not even on the radar.