Blithering Idiot

by Nic Olson

That is a super-peachy-keen post. Thanks for really blathering on like that! Seriously, I don’t think I could have spent more effort wishing for something heavy to fall on me to erase that nonsense from my mind.
-Blithering Idiot

I am a blithering idiot.

The sooner we can say this to ourselves, the better. But in order for it to make the impact that it should, we must call ourselves idiots before someone else does. The repetition of the phrase merely because someone else realized it first, means much less. I knew I was a blithering idiot far before this person, presumably a man, commented on my blog. Whenever a person indirectly calls you an idiot, and names himself an idiot, that means you are doubly idiotic. Just makes sense.

One of my greatest worries is that this entity that is Balls of Rice is simply a forum for stupidity. Spouting opinion and acting pompous. Opinion is never wrong, nor is it ever right. But nevertheless, I don’t want to be filling your digital ears with my digital voice of digital opinion. Social networks fill anyone’s quota for opinion, and I strive for this URL to be as far away from daily updates and profile photos as possible. #blitheringidiot

Opinion is never truth. In a search for truth, opinion is an unnecessary distraction. In a post by post search for truth, it is difficult for the five-hundred-and-sixty-second post not to be dripping in personal belief, as if actual decent topics had dried up and Balls of Rice had no choice but to immerse the sponge in a bucket of opinion.

So while watching hockey that has no soul, I sit in dead heat with phrases bouncing in my head like the digital time on a computer screensaver, such as ‘The washing machine is loud.’ ‘Your roommate showers for too long.’ ‘I smell like old ravioli.’ ‘I’m tired.’ ‘It’s hot out.’ ‘I hate Burrows.’ The only thing keeping me a blithering idiot and not a goddamn idiot is the fact that at times I don’t say these things I think. And that I know well what I am.

We are all idiots. Blithering ones. And all for our own reasons. We are smarter if we find it out ourselves, instead of letting another blithering idiot tell us.

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