Thanks for having me

by Nic Olson

Thanks for having me, name of entity.

I have been a guest in your beautiful city/home/business enterprise/vehicle/venue for the past (insert number) hours/days/weeks/months, and I appreciate every moment that you allowed me to share with you. I want to ensure that you understand how thankful/tired/horrified I am, because if it wasn’t for my over-sincere politeness, and my participation in the event that you allowed me to be a part of, I wouldn’t be worth anything as a human being. I only value myself based on the collective whole that I am able to interact with, and therefore I am a part of an occupation/business/travelling musical group/fringe lifestyle in hopes of gaining credibility, like a resume that is perpetually wiped clean and becomes blank. I apologize for putting you out by standing in your way/asking you to pour me a beer/sleeping on the floor of your room for a week. I also apologize for constantly apologizing.

Thanks for allowing me to sleep in your warm arms, (name of venue/park/hotel floor/couch/airplane/bus depot bench). Whether soundcheck bass drum kicks reverberated me to sleep, or whether the the cool coastal wind blew dog buttflakes into my nostrils, I wouldn’t have been able to function without you. You held me so close, with such concentrated tenderness, that I awoke with no idea of where I fell asleep just 15minutes/2hours/5hours/13hours previous. Such love and tenderness that suffocates time and space is a perfect example of why I throw myself into the arms of the unknown so regularly.

Thanks for having me, sobriety/mental stability/healthy body. It has been a while since we’ve seen each other, and undoubtedly, with a immediate future in demanding employment, it will be a while until we see each other again. I have hopes that we will be able to be with each other in old age, that is, if either of us still exist by then.

Thanks for having me, AT&T/every WiFi hookup/FaceTime/postcards/email services. If it weren’t for your gracious acceptance of my temporary embrace of your communicative powers, I would have missed the birth of a PeeWee/the gastronomical escapades of a friend/the afforementioned period of sobriety/mental stability/healthy body, however, the latter is debatable.

Thanks for having me/thanks for putting up with me. Because for reasons I can’t quite figure out, I often have a hard time putting up with myself, and your moderate interest in me is encouraging.

Thanks for having me, Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style writing. With you, anything is possible and everything can be convoluted and unclear.

 

 

 

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